Thursday, April 24, 2008

International Phenomenon (and nakedness)

Over the past few years I have received many emails from around the world. Places like Russia! Italy! Wyoming! Other places!

This site has been commented on in blogs and websites from even other places around the world. Places like Japan! Poland! Spanish-speaking country!

But, even with this foreknowledge, I wasn't prepared for the global reach that one month of internet tracking revealed. As previously mentioned (you know, before this mentioning), I added an analytic tool to every page on the site (one month ago). This tool gives me a look at all manner of data. Mostly geographical location, popular pages, keyword searches, etc.

I've had access for years to search terms that have lead people to my site, and I am still somehow surprised that my most frequently hit searches are "chester the molester" and "Wendi McLendon-Covey naked" (or a wide variety of most of the female celebrities I have portroided with a "nude" or "naked" qualifier). This blog can only increase my frequency of receiving these quality results. I have no naked photos on this site (not true (Naked Cowboy (not really naked) and a blurry old-timey bathtub shot (blurry old-timey penis))).

Anyway, back to how International and worldy portroids.com actually is. In the past month, I have had visitors from 54 countries and all but 4 United States (what's up Alaska, Wyoming, Vermont, and South Dakota? Do you hate portroids, effective late March to late April 2008?).

That might not seem like a lot of countries compared to a much more popular site, but to me with my little project of Polaroid portraits, it means something that an Icelander who is searching for "Maria Thayer nude" has taken the time to click on my link and looked at Maria Thayer clothed.

It's really comforting that a Micronesian and a Tunisian and an American and a Serbian and a Brit and a Slovakian have all individually congegrated in the small world of the internet with similar aims, similar desires, similar global concerns ... Random Female Celebrity Naked.

I'm happy to have been given the opportunity to disappoint.

Keep clicking, Earth!

Love (fully clothed),
Rick
portroids@hotmail.com

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Truth (This Side Of)

In the coming weeks, I have a few subjects I plan to discuss. Not least amongst them is the international phenomenon that is portroids.com. Nor second least, my secret weapon to combat the imminent death of Polaroid film. And third important (a.k.a. least), just, you know, some random blathering.

Today, though, I want to direct your attention to some portroid connections in a new film project that has captured my rapt interest. It is a movie written (co) and directed (co) by Ricky Gervais and Matt Robinson. It is currently being filmed in Lowell, MA.

It's called This Side Of The Truth. You should totally go see it (sight unseen) when it gets released. Probably late this year (no evidence of this) or early next year (also unfounded). You're going to love it (you know, why not?).

Ricky has been writing a blog on his website to track the creation of the film. Again, this is the kind of thing you should find time to enjoy. Give yourself a treat (cookies, maybe) and go to Gervais's This Side of the Truth blog. *

*while you're there, please check out his wind-up of the infamously round-headed Karl Pilkington in this additional Monkey News blog.


So now, just to show you I wasn't a liar a few paragraphs ago when I said this film has some portroid connections, check out the cast:

Ricky Gervais


Louis CK


Jennifer Garner


Jeffrey Tambor


Jason Bateman


Christopher Guest - I don't have a portroid of him. I did "meet" him once though. Sort of. We crossed paths on a stairwell and I gave him a huge idiotic smile and nodded my head happily. He looked back at me like I was an idiot. I then saw him later, standing in the same hotel lobby looking unapproachable, and so I did not approach him, love him though I do.

And, um, a bunch of people I haven't met (but who I love): John Hodgman, Tina Fey, Rob Lowe, Jonah Hill, Patrick Stewart, Stephen Merchant and Shaun Williamson (cameos).

Also, just because he's mentioned and pictured in Ricky's blog, I'll include Rob Steen in my portroid connection section:


OK. That's it. Go see this movie whenever it comes out. Follow along in Ricky's blog. Put up Karl Pilkington posters in your town* (* see * above).

Truthfully Yours (sort of),
Rick
portroids@hotmail.com